Waiting for Sunshine

Man did I need to laugh this week. I felt the winds of change again this week. Really what I felt was my lack of control of those changes. I was so sad as I processed through some relationship changes. Part of friendship is accepting where people are and the choices they make. Sometimes life just doesn't go the way you hope. Life surprises all of us and what seems so black and white becomes shades of gray.

I can always seem to make something good out of bad and this week that ability seemed void. My own opinions and emotions and forsight about decisions that were being made around me seemed overwhelming. Then in the midst of mopping my floor I was reminded that I am not in control. I know, I know how do I always forget that?

The week was so unexpected that I had not really asked God to be apart of the discussions. I did that morning and the result was a heart to heart while mopping. I have learned in my friendship with God how to hear His voice. Much in the same way you learn to recoginze a friend's voice on the phone. I have got to know Him through expereincing Him as I read about Him, believe that He is alive and interested in my life, and taking Him at His word that He speaks. He spoke to people in the Bible and says He is the same today, yesterday and forever, so I take that at face value. I don't always hear Him correct or I interpret it to make myself feel better. But like with any friendship that I am committed to, I stay in it. For me to hear His voice is a thought that is accompanied with great peace....don't get me wrong I don't like everything I hear. It isn't just a voice that makes me feel better. Often it is like this week, a voice that reminds me that I can not and will never be able to control other people. I must accept the choices of those around me. The real question is not how or why someone chooses something but what will my response be. That sucks quite frankly! It is much easier to find the fault in the other and move on.

The choice seemed to be mine in the end. Even though I didn't like what was happing what was I going to do now? Well, go to the movies seemed like a great avoidance tactic...I chose that. I went to a screening of the movie Kite Runner, that is due to come out in a few weeks. Here is the trailer:



The movie did NOT make me laugh, but it was a story of HOPE. I HIGHLY recommend the movie (but not to children under 13). A part of these young boys' stories is not only flying kites, but my friend Cindy and I were mesmerized by their ability to control the travel of their kite by simply moving their finger along the string. The boys could control their kites, but the reality was they could not control the relationships in their life nor could they control the affects of the choices made by others. I won't give away the story but I will tell you that never giving up on those you love no matter what choice they make was powerful.

My friend Amy's olderst girl, Madeleine learned to sleep in her big girl bed this week.



She was told by Amy to stay in her bed until she could see the sun through her window. A day or two later the morning wore on and Amy saw and heard no signs of Madeleine. As she peeked her head in she saw her beautiful little curly haired girl sitting on her bed focused and looking out her window. Amy asked, "Madeleine, what are you doing?"

Her sweet reply: "Waiting for the sun, mommy."

Amy smiled at her amazing 2 year old and began to teach Madeleine the difference between sun and light (and praise her for obeying!) You see, it was a rainy, cloudy, and overcast day in Redding. The morning had come. It had just come with a darkness about it. Her day just didn't begin the way she thought it would....with sunshine waking her up telling her it was alright to get out of bed. Instead, it was her mom that loves her beyond words that taught her something that day. It was a two year old lesson that I seemed to keep with me all week.

Even when your day doesn't start with SUN, it doesn't mean you can't keep going. I wish all my days and all my relatioships were filled with SUN, but the truth is we would miss out on cozy rainy days, where you curl up all day watching movies and drinking cocoa. We would miss out on splashing in puddles. We would miss out on wearing sweaters, and gloves, and hats and scarves, and jackets (which might only be something I miss, seeing that it was 85 in LA again today. Fun winter apparel is not in my near future). And we would miss out on that incredible moment when you see the sun after so many dark days of clouds and rain.

A few days after that morning with Madeleine she came tearing out of her room screaming, "it's sunny, it's sunshine, it's sunny Mommy!" There is something about the sun after a season of dark. Holding on and waiting for the SUN to shine again in friendships is important. You can't control frienships like you can control kites, but you can sit on your bed waiting for the Sunshine again.