DDay

So today was the day!!!
The GOAL: run up the Mount from the bottom to the top by the end of March



Goal ACCOMPLISHED!!
17 mins--setting the current DWR (Dana World Record--The OLYMPICS is coming this year, just getting you ready. And since I have never ran this there is no current World Record for me so I just set it!)
10 mins down (fastest time since I have lived here)

There is something about picturing the thing you want to conquer in your head and then seeing it realized. There really is no better feeling for me. My work out life often parallel's my real life. Mostly, doing things like this helps me to get through hard emotional/relational situations. Once you accomplish a hard thing you realize that you can do more than you thought. I think in the end that is why I do things like this. I get so scared and nervous to have hard conversations, challenge people in their way of doing life, consult on the development of an organization, have conversations about people's spiritual growth, talk to guys...you name it I get scared of something or another. In all those situations I am not the only one involved, so in order to be confident no matter what happens I need to conquer a few scary things to show myself I can do hard and scary things. But I need to do it in a controlled way, hence workout goals. Even though I get scared that I might not be able to conquer my workout goal I am the only one that would stop myself. So when I push through it I see, "oh my gosh I can do scary and hard things and I won't die." Which then gives me confidence as I step into all those other scary areas where I don't have control. Plus I always think, "I never regret the workout once I get home..."

If you wonder what is in my head on a run like this let me share:
(truth is just adjust the language a little bit and you can see similar thoughts in any situation that I encounter)

Middle of the night: wake up secretly (or not so secret now) excited that I am going to conquer a goal
Closer to morning: wake up secretly scared that I won't be able to do it
5:40AM: YAY! Today's the day! I hope I can do this
6:10AM: I am so excited to be at the end of something, I can't wait to hit the beach and start running.
6:25AM: I can run forever and so fast because I know I am going to accomplish something. Man I love running by the beach...
6:50AM: Finished with the run now I get to tackle the Mount
7:01AM: Turn on my "up the mount" song and I get to tackle this thing
7:06AM: Man this is hard I hope I can do this
7:11AM: These stupid stairs go on forever maybe I can't do this, my legs are burning
7:12AM: I can do this I have done all these parts before, suck it up Dana Michelle and get to the top you will feel so proud
7:15AM: The home stretch, if I can only get past these last stairs I will have done it. I could just walk the rest of the way up since I know I can do it.
7:17AM: I DID IT! I can't believe it. All those mornings paid off. And now I get the best part...running down the Mount with great satisfaction and I get to listen to my favorite podcast on the way home--This American Life (a chicago radio station) because really in the end we all need something to LOOK FORWARD TO AS A PRIZE. It really does help.

And there you have it! A silly made up goal accomplished!!!
Happy Goal Conquering Today!

Only in New Zealand (part 6)

Really? ....this was in the local grocery store this week.
Sheep really are every where!
I don't know why it made me giggle so hard one day, but it did.
Then I laughed even harder as the older women looked at me so perplexed as to why I was taking a picture of rugs...Ahh only in New Zealand:)

My Life is a Book

Do you ever feel like you are living in a book? I do. In those moments do you ever feel like saying: 'I really don't like this chapter?' I did today. Now before you say, "But you are living in paradise?!" Let me explain...

I woke up this morning to run the Mount after, yet another night of not sleeping through the night. As I woke up, I thought I better face the music. What music you ask? The music of the yummy food in NZ. Apparently I have enjoyed the food a little bit more than I thought. The only saving grace was that I weighed myself in KG. The benefit, you ask? You feel so little! Because for every 2.2lbs it is only 1KG. As I saw the number I quickly did the math and thought that isn't too bad...then I actually really sat down and multiplied it by 2.2 not just did it my head. YIKES...I like the food over 10lbs more....Okay I can deal with this I thought. Plus the number in KG seems so wonderful. I didn't freak out too much. But on my run I was trying to figure out some goals that I could lose it by. (I need goals to hit or I just won't do it because I like the challenge of a date to shoot for) As I was picking a date to try and lose it by I thought I had better figure out how many KGs I would hope to be to be back to my normal weight. That is when KG isn't as fun--it was only 5KG that I would be losing! All that work for only 5! But, alas, I will now have a new challenge, since my "run up the Mount by the end of March" will be achieved by Monday.

I ran to the Mount and then up it almost the whole way. I have one more little section and then I will have ran up the entire thing. (I am conquering it section by section with Monday being DDAY...the entire thing!) It isn't pretty, me running up the Mount but I will finish it. As I was struggling up the Mount this morning--wondering why I made this silly and goal and beyond that why I am making myself keep it. I got a phone call. I didn't answer it because seriously, my lungs had no more air in them to even answer my phone, much less talk. Well, I on my way down my brother and sister in law called me! It was them and they just called to say hi.

It just felt so much like a story out of a book--my brother and his wife, who live in Germany and who are moving to Holland in a couple of months called me. I felt like a character out of one of my books--"she ran down the Mount, exhausted she wondered what her day held and if anyone remembered her today...ring ring. Her brother called right then and they spent the next 30 minutes just chatting about life and family and home."

We talked about my brother's job--He is a Major in the Air Force and I am so proud of him. And Holly (my sis in law) and me talked all about the books we like to read. It was such a neat surprise in my day and a great way to end my run!

As I looked forward to the rest of my day I was excited about what was ahead. I had coffee with my closest friend here, a meeting with good friends to help them with their business, and two more mentoring meetings....plus I was going to attempt my mom's lasagna tonight. What a great day!!

I had such a good time with my friend and walked away so thankful that she is in my life. She has become my friend here that I can freak out with, cry, scream, laugh, or just be me with and she still likes me when it's over:) I feel so lucky to have made such a good friends here, in such a short amount of time.

After that I sat with another close friend and helped her and her business partner figure out how to best work together and use what they are good at to make their business successful. I left that meeting and was heading into another one that I was so looking forward too with a young girl here who is amazing. I can't believe I do this! I never get used to seeing people discover that they were created for something more than average, that there is a Creator that says they are unique, that they have incredible talents to offer this world.

In the midst of all those thoughts my phone rang letting me know I had a text. It was from my Aunt Denise...which always makes me smile to see her name pop up on my phone. It was a short text telling me that my Nana and Grandad were giving me a large sum of money since they had given some to my brother and cousin. Was I shocked? Yes. Are my grandparents extremely generous and loving? Yes. Do I deserve it? No. Does it cover my school loan payment the next 6 months while I am in NZ? YES. Was I a little bummed? Yes.

Again, you ask how could you be bummed you just got a huge amount of money you weren't expecting? Well, first let me say I am INCREDIBLY thankful, lest I get a million comments letting me know how ungrateful I am. I was a little bummed because I was remembering that my brother and cousin got their money when they got married. Seriously am I that old? Did my grandparents give up hope that I would ever get married so they decided to kick down the cash now? YIKES this isn't really my life is it? This only happens in books I read. When did I become "that" girl?

I promptly texted my Aunt back asking why I was getting it now...did they give up hope on me? And she quickly responded NO they just don't want me (she takes care of their finances) to forget to give it to you. (which is funny in and of itself because my Aunt is amazing at finances) And she added that they said that when I get married they will get me a nice gift. Oh...okay I feel so much better (said in a slightly sarcastic tone)

I had to laugh at myself today while I had a slight pity party for a few minutes--okay let's be honest for about an hour. I just received money out of no where and all I could focus on was the negative. Then I really began to laugh as pictured someone reading the book of my life, thinking this is a great 'chapter'--conflict, emotion, the protagonist is also the antagonist of her own life and humor (seriously I got a text telling me the best and worse news in the same 10 word text message--only in this day and age!),

After a quick call to my friend from earlier in the day in which I laughed as I told her, promptly following that up with I might cry in a little bit over this but let's just laugh at this for a second. You see, our whole talk earlier in the day was about how we view things from a specific vantage point. We see through these glasses that are much like 3D glasses. If we don't have them on we see the picture and it is fine, but once we put them on things jump out at us, we get scared because there are things closer than we want them to be, and reality feels so out of whack all of a sudden. The odd things is we each have our own 3D glasses. When I looked at my friend's hard situation today there was no fear, no scary things jumping out, no hoping that the "movie" I was watching would end. It was just normal, almost uneventful. But for her there were monsters lurking all over the places with the glasses she was looking through. The same was true for me. I faced a million monsters today with one simple text message. Yet when I called Michelle she was able to, yes laugh and cry with me, but also tell me the uneventful "movie" she saw when she looked at my situation because she was not wearing my 3D glasses.

I guess we always have a choice don't we? Is the glass half empty or half full? Some days that just doesn't work though because you actually want to throw the glass across the room or at someone's head! That is when it is good to have a friend that helps you see what the "movie" really is. If it is too hard to take your glasses off, they simply describe to you what they are seeing. It doesn't make all the monsters go away but it does get you to at least blink and maybe even shut your eyes for a minute. Then as you regroup, you actually have the courage to do what it takes to get those glasses off and view the world through truth, not through past hurts or future fears.

I feel lucky, I have a lot of friends that help me with my 3D glasses. And, at the end of the day, that is what I a most thankful for...friends who love me, parents who support me, family who know just when to call, new friends who text you at just the right moment with just the right words. I knew when the day started it was just going to be "one of those days" and that it was...

The emotion is over and actually I found a lot of humor in the emotional roller coaster of my day. And I go to bed tonight overwhelmed that financially staying in NZ just got a whole lot less stressful. Thank you Nana and Grandad! I love you very much!!

Only in New Zealand (part 5)

*Do you put in for a Visa in their immigration office and receive a text message (yes you read that right a text message) to let you know they received your paperwork. It was even in "text lingo" ie thx for your app u will hear from us soon...

My oh My where have I just agreed to stay for the next 6 months

*Do you use the phrase I went up the Mount at the "Sparrow's Fart." Do you wonder what that means? I did too. Last night Deby explained it to me and I laughed so hard I had share it with you.

Dana: What does Sparrow's Fart mean?
Deby: You don't know?
Dana: No
Deby: Well, sparrow's get up VERY early, before anything else.
Dana: Oh (thinking okay what does farting have to do with it??)
Deby: And what is the first thing you do when you get up? FART
My response: LAUGHING...thinking of one particular friend who shall remain nameless but actually has that same problem:)

So when you get up so early you can't stand it, just say to someone I got up at the Sparrow's Fart. They will laugh or think you are crazy...either way you will get a good laugh out of it

Reality Clothes

Do you see my hoodie?
(that is the country of New Zealand within the two hands...)
Do you see my face?
(I have to tell you something...)
Do you wanna know what the hoddie says on it under the picture?

"I CALL NEW ZEALAND HOME"

(hence the Blog title of Reality Clothes)

It's official I am staying longer in New Zealand!!! And no I am not getting married, dating anyone, or even close to that. I am sure from a lot of my blogs you can tell what a great time I am having, but it goes so far beyond that. There have been so many moments here I have just felt like I have come home. Anytime you go to a new culture there is always a moment where you know you have either been accepted or you realize you are still an outsider. Last week I was leaving a coffee with someone, and I as I walked away I knew it had happened--I had been accepted in this culture. I don't know when it completely happened, nor do I know how it completely happened--I just know this, it happened. Today it is Good Friday (the whole country gets this day off work--and MONDAY for Easter, too--Kiwi's love their holidays) and we sat around eating hot cross buns (yes they really have them it is not just a song we all learned on our recorders) While enjoying our yummy brunch someone was making fun of Americans and then looked at me and said I can only say that because you aren't American to us you are Kiwi. While that isn't entirely true, it was a huge compliment and to me shows that something beyond myself is happening here. 8 weeks is just not long enough to connect to a culture, especially Kiwi culture.

The job that I am doing here is incredible, and I feel so fortunate to be able to being doing things I love and be challenged in my own leadership. But beyond that this culture just seems to be one in which I am thriving. I have definitely had some moments of complete terror when I realize what I am doing...staying in a brand new country, with brand new friends, and living in a brand new culture. But let's be honest...that mostly has to do with the fact that I feel like I lost control:) Once I can calm down I am excited and humbled that this is the life I am living for right now.

So for now I am legally able to stay in New Zealand for 6 more months. I definitely didn't expect to be living in New Zealand this year, so with open hands I continue to walk into the unknown with excitement and hope for things to come.

Happy Easter!!!

New Blogging Friends

Yay!!! Amy started blogging....

http://fullbeautifullife.blogspot.com/
(will someone please tell me how to link it so all you would have to hit is Amy...it's on all your blogs I just seriously cannot figure it out)

Her blog is so fun and completely entertaining to read!!

I have another friend here in NZ that started as well...but I promised I wouldn't share his blog just quite yet. Blogging is DEFINITELY not a Kiwi thing. But those of you that know me well, know that all that does is set a challenge before me: how many Kiwi's can I get blogging before I leave?

Favorites...

I realized tonight as I was sitting at work that you have not met some of my favorite people yet. This is Kelly and Simon. I have talked to you about them a few times on here, but you need to officially meet them because they have become great friends to me here. They volunteer a lot at the place I work and I get to meet with them because of that:) Their heart for people is incredible and their heart for me is HUGE. They have made me feel safe and been friends that I just enjoy doing life with. Plus I always leave hanging out with them refreshed and energized, and I always seem to enjoy a good laugh with them, which is very important to me.




This is my friend Georgia after her surf competition. You saw her on an earlier blog, but now here is your official "meeting" of her. Georgia is one of those people that I think I am going to be glad that I can say I know her now. She will either be famous or running some multi million dollar corporation some day and I will love to brag that I was friends with her when she was 11...and here is proof she is on my blog:)



And here is Joel and Katie. Joel and Katie live next door to Beks and Greg (one of the places I stay in NZ) Joel works with me and they both have become great friends to be real with and just do life with. Katie and me both love baking and Katie has even made me an apron for our "days O' baking." Which we haven't started yet but will soon. Joel and me decided that we look like we are brother and sister in this picture. I told him he needs to blow it up and put it in their house...we will see if my new brother will do that!
(C'mon we kind of look like we are related...)


(Katie with Beks)

Was I actually invited?

Eating dinner at someone's house has to be one of my most favorite things to experience, especially in a new place. I have found here that I LOVE when I get invited over to someone's house for dinner. I don't know if it is the fact that EVERYONE always has a plate of yummy food out before the meal--filled with crackers and cheeses and dips. Or if it is trying all sorts of food that is delicious--my favorite being roasted pumpkin. Though I do have to say the conversation about how Americans eat pumpkin is getting a tad bit old. In NZ you eat pumpkin ALL the time. It is roasted, most often with potatoes and kumra (sweet potatoes). It was a little different for me at first. We carve pumpkins in the States, not eat them. But the conversation is the same each time.

Kiwi: Do you eat pumpkin in the States?
Me: No, not really we carve it.
Kiwi: What? You don't eat pumpkin? You eat it sweet, huh?
Me: Yeah we have pumpkin pie.
Kiwi: Oh that's gross pumpkin is not intended to be sweet.
Me; Well we just do it different. Our pies our sweet not savory. (they don't have sweet pies at all here)
Kiwi: Pumpkin is not for a pie and I don't really like your pumpkin pie anyway.
Me: I don't really like pumpkin pie either, actually. And you don't really make it out of a pumpkin like you guys cut up your pumpkins. You buy a can of pumpkin pie filling.
Kiwi; That is just wrong. You eat kumra sweet too?
Me: Kind of. At Thanksgiving we bake it with brown sugar and cinnamon with marshmallows on top and....
Kiwi: That is not the way you are supposed to eat it.
Me: Do you have any chocolate? (trying to change the subject because I am so tired of defending something I don't even really like) :)

Anyway, back to going to people's house for dinner... I do thoroughly enjoy it here. So much so that I invited myself to dinner twice this week. I know, I know, rather presumptuous, but I really like these new friends I am meeting and know that Kiwi's love being hospitable, so I just help the process :)

Wednesday night I was at my friend Andy and Sally's for dinner. We had a roast (which is not like an American thinks of it) It is usually some kind of roasted meet with potatoes, carrots, kumra and you guessed it....pumpkin. It was rather yummy! And then Georgia their daughter had me try her favorite candy: Perky Nana (chocolate covered banana tasting thing) It was good! Though we did get a good laugh out of the fact that I thought this whole time she had been saying to me "pookienana." Sometimes I still don't get the accent right. And I helped Georgia start her very own blog. You should check it out: pookienana.blogspot.com :)




Then on Thursday night I went to Jane and Andy's house for dinner. Andy is an amazing cook, or so I kept hearing. So of course I needed to invite myself to their house:) We had a great time just laughing, eating yummy food (definitely had cheese and crackers before dinner that I loved), telling stories, and having an AMAZING meal that Andy cooked. Everyone was right. Want to guess what we had? roasted pumpkin:) We also had a great pasta dish as well and dessert was my favorite....pinapple and chocolate. We sat around the table with dessert in front of us so long we had to bust out another huge chocolate bar.




Though there was not "cuteness" invitation or interaction (thought he was into another girl last week...we will just have to wait and see if anything ever happens), it was such a GREAT week! And l thought I would end by sharing with you my current favorite shirt in New Zealand. Jane and Beks had both worn it yesterday so I had to take a picture to share with you....enjoy!

A Giant Dipper Weekend

If you haven't ever rode The Giant Dipper at Santa Cruz Beach Board walk you are missing out on a good time and a GREAT laugh. Every year some of my best friends and I try to get away to Santa Cruz for rest, laughter, and quality time. One of our favorite things to do since we started going 10 years ago is to ride the Giant Dipper. If you notice in the picture it isn't that exciting and quite frankly isn't made that well. But somehow we all get off with tears in our eyes from laughing so hard. Aren't those the best moments? Laughing so hard you cry has to be one of my most favorite things in the world.



This weekend was very similar to a Giant Dipper ride. It was a roller coaster of emotions. My migraine stayed just on the edge all weekend, yet I was so thankful that it never went into a full fledged headache, nor a migraine. I was quiet as Saturday approached. I tend to be a little quiet and introverted before I speak. It is one of the few times that I am either quiet or introverted :) I was speaking in the afternoon, so I had the chance to pay attention to the feel of the camp during the first couple of sessions. As I got up to speak I was full of "pre game jitters."

I had no idea what it would be like to speak to this new Kiwi culture. During the day I seemed to have had every emotion possible: fear, excitement, exhaustion, joy, worry, hope and nervousness. I hung out with some good friends. Cried a little with my good friend Sally, then laughed a little with her. Listened to people share hard circumstances and empathized with them. I spoke hoping that the exercises I was taking the women through would make sense in this new culture.

As I finished that session I was reminded how non emotional the Kiwi culture is in general. They aren't quite as quick to give emotional feedback on their faces. I just had to trust it went well. Shortly there after I was reminded of my most unfavorite part of speaking: the vulnerabilities and insecurities that are so high. I walked straight into one of my most dreaded situations by accident, and was standing face to face with a huge insecurity. "Of course," is all I thought....just a part of speaking. I fought to keep perspective the rest of the night. I was very excited to lay down in my bed....my bed that was in a tent with 4 other women. Yep I was in a tent once again:)

The night was one of the longest nights of my life. One of those nights that once I awake all I could think was "man I am glad that night is over." I tossed and turned all night, fought through more insecurities, had to go to the bathroom not once, but twice (which was AWESOME to crawl out of the tent, going through the two zipper doors, walk to the bathroom in the dark and make my way back through the two zipper doors in the dark and crawl back into my sleeping bag). But I made it, with barely any sleep but made it, nonetheless.

The next morning I was teaching one more time first thing. I crawled out of bed, attempted to make myself presentable and sat down to try to put all my thoughts together on what I was going to say. Once again I shared from my heart and gave them a couple of tools to deal with life. I learned an interesting thing about speaking to the Kiwi culture. I am fairly open about what I walk through and as I shared, it was a bit surprising to some of the women. I had quite a few people come up to me after asking if I was okay. I wondered why and later that night I realized it. I had shared some of my emotional roller coaster and how I battled through the emotion, yet not allowing the emotion to control my every move. That is not a very Kiwi way of life. Strong emotion and sharing that is not a typical thing. They seem to have such a high value for being able to handle anything, and mostly can. So my emotional way of life and my honesty of not being perfect was a lot to take in I discovered. Hopefully, it didn't distract too much from what I was saying.

I ended the weekend with a BBQ with great friends at Auntie Ali and Uncle Neville's. It was a fun weekend, but I definitely fell into bed Sunday night excited to sleep in on Monday. That didn't really happen. I was so overly tired, I didn't sleep great and finally got up and so wished that their was a Target near by. I just needed a good ol' fashion Target day: wandering around with a diet coke, bag of pop corn and a good friend. I didn't find a Target but I ended up having a Target Day without the Target. I found a store that sold my favorite NZ labels so cheap--2 skirts for $6.99 YAY for me! :) Then wandering next door to that I found a store that was a mix between Pier 1 and Cost Plus. Then walked around down town sipping a diet coke enjoying the sunshine. A friend drove by and we stopped and got a coffee (yes I actually drink it now--what has happened to me here?!) Then Michelle and I went to see 27 Dresses with her mother-in-law. It was my second time seeing it and I LOVED it all over again (it does, in a scary, odd way, parallel my life--she's a bit awkward, has my guy issues and though I haven't been in 27 weddings I have been in 16. She has her fair share of "cuteness" awkward moments that is for sure! So it made me laugh all over again) Then I came home and had a yummy dinner back at Beks and Greg's house and am ready to start my week all over.

The roller coaster of emotions this weekend was similar to that Giant Dipper ride each summer. Moments of wondering why I even got on, moments of laughing so hard I cry, memories that make me smile, and once it is over, a feeling of great satisfaction.

(Jared, Me, and Michelle hanging out waiting for the yummy food)


(Lisa, Auntie Ali, and Uncle Neville getting the BBQ already)


(Uncle Neville and Grant eating muscles....eww)


(Another fun "American" picture--Michelle makes fun of me that all we Americans do is take non candid pictures of ourselves...I tell her not Americans, just me:) Notice Michelle sporting a cute Cali hoodie!)

Sorry for the Blog Silence

Ever has those weeks where you look back to what you did on Monday and can't believe that was only 5 days away? That is definitely what happened this week, hence the lack of blogging...

Monday--started my week with a massage. Michelle and I both went down town to a spa and got an hour massage. I can tell you my back and shoulders was very excited about this! Pretty much we had a "girly day" as my friend Audrey would say. A spa, a massage, shopping (and I bought a sundress--that I can't believe I bought because the on sale price was 3x what I pay...but girly days call for moments like that every once in awhile. Clothes in NZ are SO expensive and to buy a dress for under $120 is a bargain--don't worry my dress was much cheaper than that, but still $120--what the heck?!)

Tuesday--had some great wins with the people I am working with and had some exciting stuff happen in my personal world--will write more about that on another day, I promise!

Wednesday--Started feeling a couple steps behind the world, didn't want to go work out and just wanted to lay on the couch...uh oh I was getting sick. Which of course is never fun, but this weekend I am teaching at an all womens camp. YIKES being sick is not good.

Thursday--full fledge sick! Slept on the couch for four hours, pumped myself with vitamin C, drank so much water I felt like I was swimming, and ended my long day of sickness with....a MIGRAINE! Awesome, huh? Went to bed pretty discouraged. Most of you know that I have a personal relationship with God. One of the things He says through the Bible is to pray for sickness. I just didn't feel like it would make a difference. I know, not much hope or faith for a girl that is supposed to have a faith in God...but sometimes that is just the reality of how I feal. I really felt like there was important things that I wanted to share this weekend, and more importantly the way I teach is to read the room/people and then move them a little bit forward from where they are. Pretty hard to do that with a foggy head and a Migraine. I asked a couple of friends to pray for me that night.

Friday--woke up with the headache still there :( (But I was awakend by one of my best friends Amy and I needed to talk to a friend that knew me well.) It was less than the night before, but still there and I didn't want it to get worse. I could feel it in my muscles so I got in for a massage with a lady in town. During my massage the headache went away! I had to giggle a little bit, though, because while I had asked friends to pray and I think that is what helped it I felt like God reinforced His love and desire to help through the massage therapist. She stated half way through the massage (and for those of you that get massages know they don't usually talk to you) I know you work at a church and when I massage people who follow Christ I pray for them....just a little FYI from God is what I think. The reminder that He is active in my life.

As I waited for someone to pick me up I wandered into the surf shop next door....wanna guess what I got? A sun dress for $20! Dana's officially back! Started my week with a massage and an expensive (for my taste/budget) dress and ended it with a massage and a Dana priced and style dress. Can life get any better?

Then on top of that, Sea Jay called me and I got to chat with her and right after I hung up the phone Danielle called me. It was just the shot in the arm I needed to do this weekend. (3 friend phone calls in one day! And a massage! And a $20 sundress on top of it! What a great Friday!! Seriously life can't get much better than that...well unless I was at Target--which is the only thing I miss from America currently:)

When I saw the friend that had dropped me off for the massage earlier in the day, she said surprised...oh you are different...Dana's back.

What a week! I will let you know how the weekend goes. I am teaching once on Saturday and once on Sunday. Communicating is always fun for me but I have to admit I am always a little nervous. To read a room is not alway easy, but to do that in a new culture is always challenge. Kiwi's are very different than Americans, and I want to honor the differences and not be an overwhelming American....we'll see how that goes:)

Until Monday....

I love CLOSURE

I was running down the Mount this morning thinking....AHHH I love this part. I look so forward to the jog down, the steep part of the hill where I am running down so fast it doesn't even feel like a work out, the last bit of stairs where I know the work out is complete. I just love the end to things. It sometimes is the thing that motivates me out of bed in the morning. "Just think of walking in the door after the long run."

It's true it really does get me out of bed and on to the street (or beach, nowadays) for a nice long jog. Today, though, as I came to that glorious part of the run--the end, I had an intersting thought. How sad. As I run to the mount I keep myself going by thinking of the moment I am done. When I hit the hard part of the stairs on the Mount I think of descending down in just a few minutes. As I come off the Mount and think of the jog back home, I think you can do this--just think how good walking in the door knowing you are done will feel.

When life gets tough I think of the end of something. I say things to myself like, 'just think it will eventually be over' or 'ít is a season and the definition of a season is it has a beginning and an end' In a nutshell, that is how I cope with life. This is not a new realization to me. It just hit me today, I wonder how many things I have missed by thinking of when it will be over instead of enjoying the actual run.

Hhmmm. I do love closure, I can't lie. I don't want to feel trapped. Which, ironically, for me I feel free when I am able to have closure. If I leave something open ended with no end in sight I start to panic. I have thought (and had people so kindly tell me) that of the "fight or flight" coping mechanism I am always FLIGHT. Yeah,I kind of look like I am and perhaps I am at times. But the reality of it is I flee in my head because I am desparately trying to get to the end to have closure...to see how the story ends. If the book is going to slow and I can't stand the emotion, I skim the pages to get to the end to see what happens. If life is not going the speed I want I will rush the "story" or experienes of my life just to get to the end and have closure. The unfortunate part of that coping mechanism is I might get the closure I so desparately think I want, but in the end I don't get the ending I really wanted.

Not rushing things is not my strong point, shall we say. Today though on the way down the Mount I decided maybe I will try and enjoy the process of the Mount and my jogs in the morning, not just revel in the ending. As I neared the bottom of the Mount and headed back on to the street for the walk home it was taking a little longer than I wanted so I hurried and jogged home instead of walked the 2 miles back.

Oh well, maybe tomorrow I will try and enjoy the journey. There really is no cryptic message in this or some big life lesson. Just simply the lesson of life I am constantly trying ot learn over and over again. And today my run seemed to be the teacher. I will continue to show up for class and see if I can learn to enjoy the journey a little and not just LOVE the closure of it.

Feel Cute, Look Cute, Act Cute

Saw him randomly at a local hang out. Actually said words this time. Conversed like a normal person. Wasn't caught without make up looking horrible. Felt cute in my summer dress. Flirted just a tad. And left him wanting more.

Successful "cuteness" sighting.

Dang Hollywood

I know I am a tad bit dramatic at times but this weekend I felt like my life was a movie. Starting with the realization that Hollywood has wrecked real life for me.

It just isn't fair when you go to a place that is a natural wonder and all you can think is "man this is like a ride at Disneyland. I feel like I am in Pirates of the Caribbean or It's a Bugs Life or watching Indian Jones." I went to the Waitomo Caves with Beks and Greg on Saturday. It is a few caves that they charge you to go look at (tourism at its finest). The one we went into was a GLOW WORM CAVE. It was cool to see all the limestone in the cave and then they turn out the lights and you look up and see hundreds of little green glowing lights--hence why it is called the Glow worm caves. Being in the caves was like being in a scene straight out of Indian Jones, though. Even down to that gross scene with all the spiders, but in my case it was worms. It was just creepy to think of these cute little lights that looked like the inside of Space Mountain, were really not lights like in Disneyland or in a movie, but real worms....ewww.

It was a limestone cave that was filled with all these cool different parts that were very intricate--like a Hollywood set designer had perfectly crafted it. Or an imagineer at Disney had created it for the perfect life like experience. YET IT WAS LIFE. It was such a surreal feeling.

The second part of my weekend happened when I felt like I was living a movie. Every time I tried to planned to look cute at a "chance meeting with someone" it never worked. Each time I had no make up on and looked horrible wanna guess who I ran into? Yep that person. There isn't much to tell there other than after a week or so of this happening and me dying each time it did it happened again today! I ran to the grocery store after just getting out of the shower with no make up on for something quick. I told Auntie Ali that my luck the way it is going I might run into "someone" let's call him "cuteness" for sake of not naming names:) We had a good laugh about how that kept happening, but really pretty sure that won't happen on a Sunday morning. As we are getting in the car to leave I realize we didn't run into "cuteness." I proudly announce in mocking humor to Auntie Ali, that I made it out without a meeting. Maybe my luck is turning around. Wanna guess what happens not 30 seconds later?? Yep CUTENESS arrives. I kind of lost my bearings and was a little shocked. And am embarrassed to admit that I went speechless. Man what happen to the cool put together American I was faking being? She disappeared with my pride in that moment. I was invited over to brunch but seeing I couldn't make words form in my mouth I didn't end up going. What the heck!

Me and Auntie Ali laughed all the way home--she was more laughing at my lack of words and coolness and how my life really is a girl movie--Predictable at all turns, just not the fun parts yet:) I wonder if God got bored with the current Girl Movies out and decided to orchestrate a little fun in my life so he can be entertained this month. HMMM...could be.

Just a little FYI I saw Cuteness later in the day and found my words and even seemed to have got my game back on! If there are any more stories I will be sure to update them in the most discreet fashion on my blog...

So, though, I have left Hollywood, I feel like it hasn't left me....

Hair Update

Just an FYI....my hair has felt incredible and been much cuter since I have been using the conditioner in the proper way.
Man what reading instructions can do!!