A Girl That Loves A Plan & A Challenge

Amy: What are you doing after work?
Me: I am going to dinner with someone, but I told them 6. I want to try and see if I can race home from work, get a run in and be ready to go to dinner by 6.
Amy: Laughs...
Me: I know I have issues....

Yeah, I guess I need a challenge and need to be conquering things in life right now. Yesterday at work I asked my boss if he had more work for me. He looked at me a bit perplexed because I had a couple huge projects on my desk I was working on. I guess I just work better with lots of things on my plate and lots to accomplish. I need to know if I am waiting on other people to answer I have something I can be doing. I love multi tasking and don't really like being bored...can you tell?

I need to make up little challenges in my life to conquer if there is nothing big going on in my life. Which is ironic, since in this season of life right now there is A LOT going on. I have no idea what is next in my life and for a planner that is a bit of predicament. I was talking to my other friend Amy this week and said, "If it happens (something I was a little nervous about) I will be sad, but I will be okay. I will eat tons of ice cream for sure, but I will be okay." She just started laughing. And my non planner friend said with a smile in her voice, "I love that you have a plan for something that hasn't happened and you actually don't think is going to happen. You're such a planner."

This season of my life is unpredictable and full of unknowns. I am actually living more in the moment and enjoying it more than I ever have in my life. But every once in awhile the girl that loves a plan and a challenge sneaks out, wishing she had a pad of paper full of plans, lists and adventures.

Muay Thai--OUCH!

Are you wondering what that is a picture of? A picture of my shins after one Muay Thai class at Axis Gym here in Redding. Do you see my lower right shin??? OUCH & YIKES is all I have to say. My friend Carlos and Sara started Axis and run the gym. It is VERY cool and I just had an incredible work out. But...my legs are killing me!! I wish that my pictures did justice to what it really looks like, but I am not quite the photographer my boyfriend is....
Here are a few more pictures:




It was definitely worth the pain because I had so much fun and feel great....I just wish my shins were not throbbing :) If you live in Redding you should MOST DEFINITELY try this gym out.

SNL's Still Got It

Saturday Night Live, every once in awhile makes me laugh out loud still.

Regardless of what you think about November 4th....this is pretty funny and made me laugh out loud! I love that I live in a country where this is legal...

Pretty impressive work SNL

New Job--Same Love

I realized once again I LOVE NEW and get scared of it. I need change and cry through it. I thrive in a challenge and hate it, wanting to quit. I absolutely love being in a new environment with tons of people to meet and wonder how long until you will be passed the beginning part of new friendships wishing you were already a few months into it with people. I love a new desk/cubicle because you get to decorate them and hate thinking of working at a desk...

I think that for me that sums up my life. I love and hate things all in one breath. I am constantly full of emotion and often times they are opposing emotions. That is life though. I wish that life was always just positive and fun. I am, at the core of my being an idealist. The reality is that life isn't always positive and fun. My mom is an amazing realist. She is able to see a situation and catch the logic and reality in seconds. I am not wired like that at all, but I need people like that in my life to help me. The world isn't perfect and life isn't always the way we hope it is in our idealistic mind....when I say "our" I mean mine :)

This week I started a new job and always seem to reflect a bit in those situations. I love NEW like I said and LOVE change, though it makes me cry and overwhelms me, but I still need it in my life. It makes me reflect because I watch just how excited I get to be in a new environment while at the same time I am full of what seem to be new ideas, new reflections, new loves in my life...but really is just a new job--same loves.

I went to work three days this week and was so reminded of the things I love in life and the reality that I need to work but I LOVE to work for someone that sees people as the worlds highest commodity and priority. I am working as a personal assistant for an IT director (aka smart computer guy) that does an unbelievable amount of jobs--half of which I don't even understand. But one of the things that helped me realize that this was going to be a good fit was what he said in our first meeting. "The computer needs to disappear so people can encounter people and God." You see, he works at a fairly large church and is currently working on a massive project to allow people to experience a live moment and encounter what is happening in a very tangible way. His heart is for people all over the world to experience God and be able to encounter God and allow them to have their own moments with God regardless of if they ever step foot in a church.

I can't say I quite get the process...well who am I kidding I don't get it at all. But this I know, I love working for people that view humanity as the most important thing in our world. He is brilliant at computers and, well quite frankly I don't even know what else to call it...that is how IT I am :) But to watch all the small components to see a live video pop on my computer is phenomenal and a little mind blowing just how much background and unseen stuff has to take place.

This form of media is important because our world is seeing life and humanity and world issues over a computer now. I don't get how it all works and I don't ever fully think I will, but I want to be in the center of world experiences. And I want to be able to connect with different parts of humanity and what they are struggling through. My boyfriend sent me this link to this documentary trailer...this is why I love technology and that there are brilliant people in this world that understand computers and the movie industry and have a heart for the world. Why? Because people like you and me can see things like this and remember how big our world is and see how we can be a part of changing the world...



http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/praythedevilbacktohell/

Go to the link...you won't be disappointed. This is the kind of stuff I want to be about in my life. As I work and live in Redding I feel like in a small way I am a part of things like this. I work for a place that loves people. I work for people that want humanity to know that there is a God that truly loves them. I work in an environment, that wants to alleviate human suffering. As I sit at my cute desk, in my newly decorated cubicle I can't help but to get excited about my new job, and about how much I love being part of the big picture of our world. One day I will be out writing for places that need a voice and people that need to be seen and remembered, but for now I will work on my skills and enjoy serving people that are making it possible to see things like live videos where people can encounter God and be challenged on their world view and their response to the suffering in our world...no matter where they are in the world. Funny who would have thought when I was 10 in my MATS class at school learning how to use these cool new things--brand new Apple computers with the funny green screens, that these would be the things that bring awareness to what our friends are going through in Africa, Asia, South America...


Here is my little spot that I get to change the world in one email at a time....




Here is what I get to look at as I type those emails all day long...

Delayed Gratification

Lakey makes me laugh all the time...so I thought I would give you some life lessons from Lakey. But first let me tell you my favorite Lakey story of the moment....

I was waiting for Sam to call me one night while me and Lakey were hanging out together. I said to him where is my boyfriend Lakey? And he looked over at me and in his cute little Lakey voice he said, "I wight heewre dana." I laughed out loud and said, "Are you my boyfriend Lakey?" He looked at me with perplexed confusion, and says, "Wes I am!" Man he makes me smile....

Lake actually taught me something last night as he got ready for bed. Sea Jay is breaking the Binkie this week...torture for poor Lakey. The rule is only in bed. This kills Lake sometimes, but Sea always tell Lakey....you can have it at night when you go to bed. So he waits all day for his binkie. But he works really hard at waiting and knows he gets the reward in the end. He began begging me for his binkie last night and I had to tell him he could have it if he wanted to go to bed. He cried, but decided to hold out and wait for bed. It made me laugh that he knew that pitching a fit wasn't going to get him his binkie....he just had to make it until bed time and he can have his longed for binkie. He was finally ready for bed, so he jumped in my arms as I took him to his room, holding his binkies like they were gold. On the way up the stairs I was apparently taking too long and he said to me, 'Dana you bewter huwwry." I look over at his sweet face and he has the binkie by his mouth but not IN his mouth, and he gave me the cheekiest little grin and like all males...laughed really hard at himself because he saw me laugh at him. I had to laugh at myself as I realized he was being so patient, but had finally had his limit.

I finally got him to his bed and he got his binkies and was SO happy. As I kissed him goodnight and saw him in pure bliss with his little binkies, I thought to myself...how often do I get to enjoy delayed gratification? Not much these days. I forgot how good it is to save for something, or wait for something. I HATE waiting. I am actually pretty bad at....but to watch Lakey's face of pure delight after waiting all day for something, reminded me that there is something to patiently waiting.

Maybe Lakey can remind me of some pretty important lessons in this season as I wait for some pretty important things....funny how much you can learn from a 3 year old.

Celebration Weekend!

My school's alumni weekend is always called Celebration Weekend and this year we started off the weekend by celebrating our friend Stacie and Forest's adoption paperwork finally being completed! We met for dinner and had balloons (an It's a Boy and It's a Girl balloon because we don't know what they will have..) A parenting magazine, flowers and a card to tell them how excited we are for them! 3-7 months we will have a new little one from Ethiopia!!!!




We had SO much fun this weekend! But seriously when did we get so old? At one point it was 10:30 and we were all exhausted and then at another point we were talking about our gray hair! What the heck?! Then as we walked through our School reliving the memories we became "those alumni" We were talking about how pretty the campus was, and how great the trees looked and how nice the buildings were and how "none of this was there when we were there." REALLY?! Was that us? YEP it was! And you know what it was awesome to be "those alumni."

(Hangin' out at Chipotle on Friday night)


(alumni lunch)






Then the best part of the entire weekend happened....FIREWORKS!!!! I was SOOOO gutted in NZ on the 4th of July because I LOVE the 4th in Redding and LOVE (I MEAN LOVE) the fireworks in Redding. Well, to my joy and everyone's irritation in Redding, the firework show was cancelled because of the fires....hehehe I was secretly so happy to not miss it! This weekend the town of Redding decided to give me the best "welcome back to the States" gift ever! They did the 4th Firework show on the 18th of Oct....who knew?!



The part I love is definitely the fireworks, but just as much I love everyone piling in the car, the anticipation as we drive down to watch, the chaos and energy on the field where we all hang out and have a picnic, the kids going crazy with glo sticks, the talks you have with friends while you wait and the silly pictures you take of the memories you are making! It was such a fun night! We laughed a lot, caught up with old friends, watched a GREAT firework show, then came back and made S'mores (for my NZ friends....it is a yummy graham crackers--sweet crackers like biscuits almost--with a melted marshmallow and a piece of chocolate in between the crackers...it is OUT OF THIS WORLD! It is called a S'more because you always want Some More....hence S'more...so clever aren't we as Americans!)



Me and My college roommate!


Me and Amy


Me and Derrick...haven't we grown up so much! Did we really grad 10 years ago?!


Sea and Danielle making Hot Chocolate...notice how clever Danielle is...she had a head lamp so she could see and use her hands...man my friends are smart!


Me and Sea


Me and my roommate Raya :)


Me and Sea and Danielle


S'mores!

Genius Bar

Okay this is SO FUN!!!! If you haven't downloaded the latest version iTunes...do it now! I always hit "remind me later" because I just can't be bothered updating the latest version of things. For some reason last night I downloaded the new version of iTunes and to my surprise I actually noticed something new. Do you ever download new versions of stuff and wonder what the heck they changed?

Well Apple outdid themselves once again in my book. The album covers are so cool the way they are displayed now and the genius bar...seriously? SO COOL!

You pick a song that you like from you music...hit the "genius" icon and WAHLAH--a new playlist of songs that are similar to the one you picked from your music library. So fun! I was getting bored with my music but didn't want to buy a new CD...SORTED!

Apple is brilliant at making you...one: feel like you NEED something...and two: feel like you are a genius because you know how to do something that seems rather hard but you do it and feel so techno. Hence, why I LOVE Apple!

Check out the Genius Bar you won't be disappointed!!

Livin' The Dream

This week I have had so many of those moments where it just feels like I am livin' the dream. It is funny how sometimes the dream is huge and crazy and other times it includes moments at bagels with your friends and their kids, talking to a wonderful guy who is not just adoring and encouraging but is the friend I always wanted, your friends dropping their kids off so you can hang out with them, driving around Redding talking to your friend's 3 year old about what Super Hero he currently is pretending to be, getting texts from my favorite guy in NZ just to let me know he is thinking of me, coffee with girls that I have loved sharing life with, and just getting to stop by a friends house that lives 2 minutes away....

Sweet simple moments where life just seems the way you thought it was going to be. Who knew? The path to get here wasn't quite what I thought it was going to be. This weekend we celebrate our 10 year reunion...from college...YIKES! It is funny to think what we all thought these 10 years were going to look like. I can't say it has looked ANYTHING like I thought it was going to look like, but I can tell you this--at this point, it is exactly what I hoped life would feel like and look like...

Livin' the dream depends on what your dream was I guess....but sometimes it isn't about exactly what you are doing it is that feeling inside when a smile erupts out of nowhere when you are driving down the road listening to Faith Hill, a little munchinkin in the back that looks at you and smiles, and your heading towards bagels to see your friend....could life be any better? Well, minus having my bloke in the same hemisphere...but other than that life is good, even though I am still looking for a job, not sure what I am doing with my life, and still have all my stuff in storage...but friends, playing with the kids, Target, texts from a great guy, and bagels seem to make it possible to say....I'm Livin' The Dream

Everyone Needs a Friend Like This...

I was racing out the door to go to my friend Danielle's before I headed to The Stirring last night. As I walked out the front door I was bombarded with a cute blonde and a sweet little girl. Raya and Ethan were SO excited to show me what they had been working on all afternoon.





It just made me smile as I drove away (after taking pictures for them) because they just have the sweetest friendship. When Eth walked in today to play with her Raya was SO surprised and you just saw the delight in her eyes that her good friend was there. She just feels known by Ethan and he makes her laugh and makes her fun time more fun and her exciting times more exciting and her exploring times more adventurous. The flowers they made up were cool, but the wonder in which they did it together is what makes me hope that everyone has a friend like that in their world.

I love people and there is nothing more than having good friends in your life. I have been running with my friend Niki in the mornings and a couple time she has apologized for having to slow down and walk (she gets really bad shin splints). I always am perplexed why she is apologizing because for me I would rather run slow or walk with a friend than run fast by myself. I was explaining that concept to Sam today and I realized that it isn't just a running/workout concept for me, but a life concept for me. I don't care as much what I do in life as who I do it with. The quality of life for me is most often determined by who is running with me through life....that is why everyone needs an Ethan in their life.

Don't Forget I'm Trained In This Stuff

Sometimes being trained in personality assessments and things of that nature make it seem like you are a creepy mind reader. Whenever it appears that I am a little creepy that I know stuff about people, I always say "Don't forget I'm trained in this stuff..." I am not a creepy mind reader...I just am trained in a few things that help me read people...today I was on my friend Bethany's blog and I found this great site that will only add to my training...well, maybe not but it did make me LAUGH OUT LOUD! It was definitely worth the 5 minutes of my life it took...

I am about to show you the results so if you don't want to know them...go take the test first. I know you will get a good laugh out of it...




Here is what this Pig Personality test had to say about me....(I'm thinking it is pretty eerily close to being accurate....)


Toward the middle, you are a realist. (not too true about me....pretty idealistic, but hey it is a pig personality test)


Facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates (birthdays, etc.) (that is pretty true)


With few details, you are emotional and naive, they care little for details and are a risk-taker. (YISS)


With 4 legs showing, they are secure, stubborn, and stick to their ideals. (so maybe I am a little stubborn...some call it it stubborn some call it tenacity...let's go with tenacity)

The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are.
The bigger the better. You drew small ears, you are an OK listener (gutted...I will work on that)

The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life.
And again more is better! You drew large sized tail (works for me....unfortunately not gonna test that one out for awhile...but good to know...)

Temporary Life of Disney Characters

Temporary is a word I love and hate in the English language. It has been on my mind lately because I have been going to Temp. Agencies to try and pick up some extra work. It is kind of fun to think I can be a different person every day. But it has made me think about how I have this love/hate relationship with TEMPORARY. On one hand, temporary is AWESOME when you are playing pretend...you get to "temporarily" be anything you want to be...like Lightening McQueen as Lakey so perfectly shows us...



The beauty of temporary is it is just that--temporary...so Lakey was in his costume for 2 minutes and he was done. It was more like he loved the process of becoming someone different, but once he conquered it (or me by getting me to put his whole outfit on!) he was done. I laughed last night when I realized I am kind of like that too. I like to work hard to get the things I want but once I get them the thrill is lost. Hence, why temporary is sometimes a good word. It reminds me that not all things are permanent. It helps especially when you are in a hard situation---all you have to think is "this is only temporarty...this time next month or next year it will be over."

But what I hate about it is that there is a real part of me that needs consistency and closure, not to live in the temporary life. It's ironic, but as much as I crave adventure and crave the need to change, I hate that that means that life for me always seems to be temporary...there is something exciting and terrifying about temporary for me. While sorting my life in this season I am so reminded how much like Lakey I really am. I like the challenge of playing a "new character"--which if you know me you know that my "temporary life as a Disney character" would include me being Belle...my secret dream is to be Belle at Disneyland and hug all the little girls that come to meet her.



But I digress, the reality is life is full of temporary and permanent. The thing that never changes everywhere we go is who we are. I have been VERY fortunate to be apart of jobs that helped (and when I say helped, I mean at times got in my face and forced me to look at who I really was) me focus on my Character and not my talent and charisma. At times, that was hard, but in the end it has taught me how to go with the flow because in the craziness of life that is unpredictable, the known and permanent has become who I am or more accurately who I am becoming. Well, maybe even beyond that the known and predictable is that character needs, not only the most important thing, but the thing that is consistently worked on and addressed. Then no matter where I live or what "character" I am playing--I have routine and consistency but still get to enjoy the fun parts of "temporary" life.

At the end of the day, maybe the most important thing I have learned in the last few years is it isn't about being a character temporarily, but learning how to work on my character in the temporariness of life.

Stock Photos

It is only 9:34 this morning and I feel like I have had the best morning ever. The irony, it was a normal low key morning. Sometimes I crave normalcy, lack of drama, and routine because my life is pretty much a movie--sometimes a drama, sometimes a romantic comedy, sometimes an action movie (well not really but how cool would it be to live in an action movie...as long as there was a good love story weaved in and out)

I digress, so this morning I started my day at 5:45 reading a GREAT email from Sam (aka favorite guy from NZ--thought I would at least give a name...), and met Niki at McConnel for a morning run at 6. Can I just say I LOVE morning runs...there is nothing like a great jog in the morning, especially with a friend. It was so fun to tell Niki the movie that is my life currently. And great to just start off the day feeling healthy!

The best part of mornings for me is how much you can accomplish....I came in from running, got ready, (still smiling from my morning email, by the way), got Raya ready for school, made lunches, made cinnamon toast for the kids, sat down and caught up on blogs (which is always fun!), and then I realized I was pretty hungry from my run. I wanted a bagel, which is my addiction in Redding....but I would have to drive to go get it. Wait, I live in Redding, not LA...this is totally doable. So, just because I could I hopped in my car, listened to a little of my favorite song right now, Viva la Vida, and smiled all the way to Manhattan Bagel (which took me 6 mins to get to!). Why was I smiling? I don't know actually. It is not like my world is in perfect order right now, which is what often makes me smile. It just was one of those morning that made me glad to be alive. Calm, normalcy, everyday activities that I love. I LOVE adventure and crazy movie like experiences, but sometimes I just love the rhythm of not needing anything except to know that I can drive to a bagel shop that reminds me of moments past, or really it just brings me a sense of control because it is familiar. I love familiar. Maybe that is why Redding is such a place of refuge for me. I can sort out my life in a place that is known...a place of routine. It is almost like those stock photo's you can get off the Internet when you need a picture of people, or a sunrises, or a flower. I always wonder who are those people...they have to exist somewhere? They are some one's real friends, a sunrise some where and a flower that someone had to stop and take a picture of...well my life in Redding...that is my stock photos. Everything is always just OKAY in Redding. Even when life is falling apart, life is just okay. When life is great....it is extra great in Redding. When I picture my life in snap shots I picture moments in Redding, I picture people I love who have never been to Redding, in Redding....it is my refuge place I guess.

Today was a stock photo kind of day....now if Sam was taking the pictures of my life there would be perfect lighting and non posed moments that tell the 100's of stories that is my life in Redding. He is an AMAZING photographer. I am pretty sure it pains him to look at my pics...especially because my Americanness comes out in them--HUGE smiles, close up face pictures and posed...kills my Kiwi friends! Too much emotion, too much posed and too much focus on ourselves...love me, love my Americanness :) But since he isn't taking my stock photos quite yet (YAY for Nov....) I will be okay with the photos that my life in Redding produce. Slowed down life, memories on each street I drive, stores that make me smile simply because of the reminiscing that happens when I think of that place with certain friends, places where I struggled through life and conquered huge fears and insecurities, and a feeling that is matched by no other place. I don't think I will ever live full time in Redding, but it will always be the place I come back to for laughs, restoration, sorting my life out, refreshing and a shot in the arm to keep doing life.

Funny how a morning can hold so many thoughts and words, but for me that is why I LOVE mornings. They are the background of my stock photos....because in my head each stock photo of my life is set in the morning...it is the perfect lighting for pictures...I know because I am dating a guy that tells me stuff like that....

Spontaneous Planning

Is it spontaneity if you plan to be spontaneous? Me and Sea Jay decided YES. You see, we both love a plan and tonight we thought we were being so flexible and spontaneous....pretty much livin' life on the edge. We looked at each other feeling pretty proud when we decided that we were going to wait until dinner to make a plan for tomorrow, and maybe even wait until after dinner. And we were serious about how proud we were.

The scary part was that we really did think we were being crazy by leaving the hotel where we were staying without making a plan. We stopped, looked at each other and started to laugh when we realized what we had just done. The genuineness of our attempt to be spontaneous and flexible not needing a plan was so funny as I thought about what we had just done...planned to not make a plan--until later.

I have so many people in my life that live in the moment--I sometimes wish I can be like that, but really at the end of the day I am not. I used to tease Scott and Amy that when I got to their house and was getting out of my car the plan was to not have a plan with them...all subconscious, yet how I enjoyed the day so much more. It is funny because the only thing I don't feel like I plan is my planning....you see, the plans just come naturally and seem to bring me joy. I think it is the part of me that loves to dream...I dream within plans and then go beyond those plans. It is like my starting block if you will. So when I have a plan--as slight as it might be, I get to dream once the plan is made about what could happen, what might happen, what I can add to it, what I can invite other people into...

Plans are fun for me...they make me smile, they bring me comfort and they help me laugh. There are some moments, sure, that I freak out because the plans don't go as I hoped and I am really disappointed, but most of the time these days I can roll with the change of plans. In fact, the plan right now is to live in the moment...I know, ironic, but it is how I am not just enduring through this season of life but thoroughly enjoying it. It helps that my guy is one of the best "live in the moment" people I know...but secretly when I live in the moment I still have many different sets of plans ready to go depending on "how the moment goes." Hey it works for me....what can I say?

There is something to be said for spontaneous planning....for us today it made us feel pretty edgy and crazy, which then sent us into a fit of laughter. And, at the end of the day, life can't be bad--plan or no plan--when you are laughing.

"Um....it got loose Dana"

That is what I heard this afternoon. What got loose you ask? A Praying Mantis!!! IN MY ROOM! Ethan and Raya were so excited when they found one in their explorations after school...



Ethan and Raya have one of the cutes and most unique friendships I have ever seen. They can be with each other all day long, they have this connection that some adults would pay to have with someone. And they have SO much fun together....well, today they had a lot of fun, but....it involved insects in my room--which is actually Raya's, but logistics...

They were so excited when they found a praying mantis, and the next thing I knew they were in our room...I went into check and in loving Dana style I said, "You have got to be kidding me? Seriously Raya I don't want it in our room."

And in typical Raya style, she says, "It will be fine...we won't let it out. Want me to put it on my side?"

The next thing I know Raya is running out of the room saying...."Um...it got loose Dana. We are getting something to catch it don't worry...."

Well, it was caught....luckily. Especially, since the last thing I heard before it was found was..."oh no it is by Dana's bed."

Soul Searching Run

I LOVE mornings...today I finally had one of those mornings that seemed a little bit like routine and normal. What is normal, though? For me a schedule and a plan is normal. And seeing that my life has been in constant movement and in 3 different places and I have only been back in the States for 2 and 1/2 weeks, normal and routine haven't been a part of my vocabulary. Don't get me wrong--I have ENJOYED every moment of my time back in the States.

And I have to say my friend Mandy, got me onto these vitamins that have changed my life--they aren't that ground breaking....just the stuff you know you should take, but made so easy. And they don't break your budget, nor does she "recommend" you take $700 worth to "feel better." In transition and change and a lack of schedule when I would normally be pretty emotional and pretty frazeled on the inside I have been centered and calm. I have had emotions...lest you be confused that I have changed....still SUPER emotional. Instead of fighting through emotions and craziness in my head I have got to just enjoy this transition and recognize the change and my emotions for what they are---this is a miracle!

I digress, back on topic. This morning I woke up rested, read an email from my guy in NZ, and the migraine I fought for 2 days was gone....the start to a BEAUTIFUL day. Raya got in bed and gave me a cuddle, then I realized that I was feeling pretty good and if I planned right I could get in a quick jog before I helped get Raya ready for school. I got her breakfast and told her to brush her hair after she ate while I was gone and I would get her lunch when I got back--SORTED :)

I set out with a little Coldplay and ran McConnel....the trail I ran in school and when I worked at the University. It is a trail FULL of memories and life change and spiritual & life epiphanies and many tears. As I jogged down the familiar trail, I couldn't help but miss the quick 5 minute jog to the beach and the run down the beach I did with this view on the way home every morning in New Zealand..



I would time my run so that on my way back down the beach I could watch the Sun rise....paradise.....



While it wasn't the beach it was awfully cool to reflect back on the last few years of my life. Wow...is all I can say when I remembered I walked in as a freshmen girl 14 years ago! YIKES....when the heck did that happen!?! To think back to all the soul searching that I did on that trail, all the tears I cried, and all the life processing I did. I was chatting with one of my best friends, Danielle, today about how life is full of working out our crap. I was just telling my friend Anna who is going to turn 30 in the next couple of years how much I LOVE being in my 30's....simply because my 20's are over. Man, your 20's are full of seeing your crap, sorting your crap, missing your crap and seeing it hit other people and having to clean up messes. Not to say, that once you hit your 30's your are perfect, but it did seem to lessen a little bit. Maybe it is that we learn to manage our issues, but let's think positive and believe that we conquer some insecurities and grow into who we were created to be...let me live in denial if that isn't true.

As I ran today, I was reminded how the minute my running shoe hits the ground something in me is just okay. Even when I was dying around the back of the trail wondering why I thought running was a good idea, but not because running is that amazing, but because I had a chance to reflect. For me running is the place that I "work a lot of things out." This season of life is surprisingly great...transition isn't always like that for me. It is a welcome surprise. It might be the way God has continued to love me and be patient with me over the years. Or I guess it could be the fact that my LA friends were AMAZING at welcoming me back into the life of the States, my NZ friends continue to text, email and call me, my parents have gone ABOVE AND BEYOND--like always, to make sure I am okay, my Redding friends have made my stay here comfortable, fun and special, and I have a great guy in NZ who adores me and has reminded me that my bar for men was way too low in my life before him. But beyond all that I think that maybe the truth is that it is a little from column A and a little from column B.

I think life is complex and doesn't have a formula and a plan to it. (which I secretly hate!) God is not just in a religion or a church. God is intertwined throughout our world and through the people that we interact with all the time. There was a time I thought that God only changed me or talked to me through church and Christians, but as I have walked through life I have realized that the God that I read in the Bible is a little bigger than needing to be in a church or religion or a spiritual person. And He only seems to back that up with the personal encounters I have had with Him. When I read about Him in the Bible and encounter Him, who He is He longs to love us and longs for us to know the reality of His unconditional support and love, not to condemn us for not being perfect or tell us what to do....I feel like the last few years has been learning lesson after lesson in that area. Ironically, not just from Christians and the church...but through people who knew God, who don't believe in God at all, who believe very differently than me, who have different world views from me and even from places that have nothing to do with God, like Weight Watchers and the bar I hung out in while I was in NZ--Astrolabe. His goodness is real and His love is tangible...life is definitely not always good, and as I walk with some friends through some REALLY intense stuff, we are all acutely reminded of that, but today I was reminded that He is in the craziest places and sometimes the most unlikely...funny maybe the Bible is on to something. When you read that He is rarely where we think God "should" be, maybe I needed the reminder that He is God and I am not. Sometimes I forget that or worse yet I think He is my assistant....lucky that He is a loving and gracious being....

Funny what one simple jog can remind you of in life....